I feel kind of like I've been drugged lately. The other day I reminded myself it's not just that I'm being weak and stupid... it's totally understandable to think of him so much when he is getting married in just a few weeks. I was in a hot-tub on top of a houseboat this weekend. The water was really rough at one point and we were all getting sloshed and tossed around in the hot-tub. Water was spilling out; it was a total mess. I felt like that has been my insides since learning about his engagement. I also find now that I am literally expecting his call. Like, somewhere in me I'm certain he will be the next person who is on the phone when I pick it up at work. Having stupid expectations only leads to hurt and disappointment. And sloshiness.