Skip to main content

Please tell me no

I'm thinking about contacting him. Just a quick email from my school account, which will be closed automatically by the school in about 3 months. Hi, I heard your good news. Just wanted to say congratulations and I wish you the best.

This is a TERRIBLE idea. Right? Someone talk me down.

Comments

  1. Anonymous1:14 PM

    It's a really terrible idea. Don't do it. He can't say anything you need to hear, and it will just re-open the wound.

    I know it's tempting - I do. But it will only hurt you more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I'm past the urge now. It was really strong over the weekend. Not to say it won't come back... but for now, I rode the initial wave and landed safely here in no contact land still. You are right. God, why is that so hard to see and understand sometimes?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:24 PM

    It does seem to come in waves. Some days are much harder than others, that's for sure. Some days it feels like a death march, grimly watching each minute go by on the clock, battling the urge, waiting until you're with DH and can't make contact. I didn't expect it to still be this hard some days, this far out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I didn't either. You're helping me though... I hope it helps you to have someone in a similar situation to talk to.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous11:01 AM

    It does help - thanks for being brave enough to "put it out here".

    I've done all the right things. Followed the party line. Am down with the program.

    I've watched it work for others. But nobody really wants to talk about what happens when it doesn't work...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish it did work. I wish my heart was on board with my brain. Because my brain has some really good points. But god DAMN I miss that rush. I know it wouldn't have lasted with him. Blah blah blah, meanwhile I continue to obsess about his upcoming wedding and ask myself if I made the biggest mistake of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9:19 AM

    Yes. Me too. Our stories are very similar. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The one year true "no contact" mark after a four year affair

So, sometime in the last month, I hit the true one year no contact mark. The last time I heard from the ex affair partner, he called me at work because he had gotten wind of an email announcement my husband and I drafted together last May. It was a message we decided to jointly send to our mutual friends (friends with us and the ex affair partner) to tell them that the affair happened, and ask them to not mention the ex affair partner to us anymore. We also asked them to keep it confidential. Obviously since he called me about it someone told him... not surprising I guess. We all were part of a pretty close-knit group of friends while the affair was going on. It's been five years or more since we have all lived in the same state, but we knew most of our mutual friends still kept in contact with the ex affair partner. So it follows that one of them was still close enough with him to tell him we had sent the message. Anyway. Here's what it felt like to hear his voice on the oth

What I've Learned

The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and