OK guys, I know better than to say I've changed until at least a month or so passes... but I think I might have changed. At least a little bit. I decided to try not checking my stalker places at all this week as a goal, and it was pretty easy to do for a while. I found myself at home alone just now and went to check one of the places, and you know what? It just didn't feel good. Some part of me finally recognized that going there is like clubbing myself over the head. It hurts. And it's pointless. So why do it? My new goal? Don't check any of those places until at least the end of the month. Baby steps. Let's see if I can do this....
The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and ...
Good for you sweetie! I wish you to the end of the month with no new hurts and a possible extension! ;)
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Thank you E!
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