6.22.2009

Songs of the affair

The good news: after the initial shock, I'm taking this engagement news pretty well.

The bad news: I have found myself thinking terrible thoughts though... like, "well, it won't last. I give it 5 years."

How awful is that? But, on to the reason for my post. My affair was filled with music mixes. The classic "mix tape" of my childhood turned into a long exchange of meaningful mix CD's between me and the ex affair partner. As time has gone on, I've realized I ascribed a lot of positive personality traits to him because of the songs he chose. They made him thoughtful, deep, understanding... poetic. I wonder if he realized this and wanted me to stop thinking those things, since one of his song choices was Spoon's "Car Radio." Lyric: "I'm just a user, I don't make any of this stuff." I would tell myself as my heart would swoon to other lyrics that he didn't write any of it, and it didn't mean anything. At various points he would tell me the songs didn't mean anything. Then at others he would admit they did. It was maddening to not know whether to consider them as messages.

But to me, songs are always filled with meaning. Like "Pale Blue Eyes" by the Velvet Underground. Listen and tell me this doesn't mean anything:


What songs made up your affairs?

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:17 AM

    Wow. My affair person sent me songs via texting all the time..wonderful songs....that I still can't stop listening to. How do you get over this?

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  2. You know, some of those songs still knife me in the heart. But most of them, honestly-- I hear them now and I just think, "oh shut up." Time heals all, hang in there. Glad this story is helping you. You will get past it too.

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