You know the bitch of it all? After all these revelations, all it takes is a sunny summer day to make me want him so bad I can taste it. So bad that body parts get swollen and slick without warning on a drive from point A to point B. Maybe that's too much information, but you ARE reading the dirty and despicable blog, aren't you? This is the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Even past the one year no contact mark, this can still happen. FYI.
The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and ...
Fuck .. after a year that can still happen !!! Noooooo!! Im about to end a brief emotional but intense affair so thought I'd read your blog and youre scaring me already!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry... if it helps, I do not get these anymore, about four years later. Fleeting thoughts at most, easily batted away. Not gripping.
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