Girls, this has not been a good couple of weeks. I have thought of him in ways I thought were long gone. I dreamt about meeting his parents, and him cuddling me from behind while I did his mother's dishes. I dreamt of us in our own home, and yes... I dreamt of that hot, forbidden sex too. And that led to daydreaming about it. While having sex with my husband. So no, I don't think contacting him right now is a good idea. When will the drug truly be gone?
So, sometime in the last month, I hit the true one year no contact mark. The last time I heard from the ex affair partner, he called me at work because he had gotten wind of an email announcement my husband and I drafted together last May. It was a message we decided to jointly send to our mutual friends (friends with us and the ex affair partner) to tell them that the affair happened, and ask them to not mention the ex affair partner to us anymore. We also asked them to keep it confidential. Obviously since he called me about it someone told him... not surprising I guess. We all were part of a pretty close-knit group of friends while the affair was going on. It's been five years or more since we have all lived in the same state, but we knew most of our mutual friends still kept in contact with the ex affair partner. So it follows that one of them was still close enough with him to tell him we had sent the message. Anyway. Here's what it felt like to hear his voice on the oth...
I found your blog...and I've read every entry. I am a married female who was having an affair with a single man. It's been 3 months of no contact...and it's been HELL. I've been married for almost 9 years, and I has having an affair with this man for 6 of those. I feel horrible about it...but on the flip side, I was crazy in love with him. He couldn't wait for me anymore, so he shut me down completely. I totally understand where you're coming from...and this weather, yeah it makes me think of my AP also. I broke NC yesterday and sent a "friendly" email to him. Then felt like an ASS afterwards. *SIGH*
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I wanted to let you know that your page hasn't gone unnoticed in "Cyber space", LOL! Just knowing there's other women like me out there, helps more than you know.
Thank you, it's good to know I might be helping people... honestly, I know about the hell. Trust me. I'm sorry, I know it sucks. I have been trying to just tell myself to wait at least a week before doing any thought that pops into my mind... giving yourself a long time to think about something before doing it seems to be the only way. But, for me that behavior was forced since my husband found out and I pretty much had to come clean. I wish you the best of luck. I hope we can help each other. Don't feel like an ass... we all do those things. It's just so hard. Love and lust are pretty compelling things. Thanks again for the comment.
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