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The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and
Just found your blog today. I'm recovering from the same situation.
ReplyDeleteOur experiences are so similar - it's uncanny. THanks for sharing.
And yea, this song had special resonance for me too.
Glad my story could help. It gets easier, that much I can tell you. It does suck along the way at times too though. Congrats on beginning your recovery.
DeleteAazing, this selfish act was and still is all about you and your needs. You whine and pine so much for your AP and your pain.
ReplyDeleteI guess you haven't really figured out how much pain you caused others like your H or you just don't give a rip since the world revolves around you and your whims.
Grow up. You don't dereve a husband or a family.
When this song first came out, I had broken up with the asshole. And oh how I cried over him. The pain made me vulnerable to his hoovering and he pulled me back in to the bullshit again. Shit continued for years and got wayyyy deeper and dangerous for me before I finally caught on that he was a liar, a user, and a selfish cheater. Oh how I wished I had dumped him way back in that first year when things were still simple.
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