Skip to main content

Seriously? In a WEDDINGS magazine?

Well, the Google urge came up tonight girls. So I can't lie, he is still in my head and heart. And what do I find, but a nice huge article all about his wedding and how he proposed and all of that frilly and pain-laden information. The venue they chose was so unique for their town, and the decor so classy, that it got written up in a magazine given to people planning weddings in their town. So it was all about who they chose to do this, and who they chose to do that, blah blah blah.

Fuckers.

Also, I just visited another person from the inner circle of friends that we told about all of this back in May 2008. She was great about it, but through one of her slip-ups, I found out that this random girl who I barely know and didn't even work with also knows about the affair. You know the show Jersey Shore? She could be on it. Not the kind of person I want having this information. And if she has it, I'm sure about everyone we ever worked with or knew at this common place also knows about it.
Which just fucking sucks too. Lesson today? Crap. No lesson. Just that burning pain.

Comments

  1. Anonymous5:30 PM

    So sorry you are in pain again. Thanks for fessing up and posting about it though. I've had a few urges but after reading your post I think I'd rather eat sand! LOL Hang in there! And stop GOOGLE'N!

    No Contact = No New Hurts

    E

    ReplyDelete
  2. This blog and you guys keep me honest. Yes, sand is a good comparison! But perhaps rubbing it in your eyes..... ouch. Not doing that anymore!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The one year true "no contact" mark after a four year affair

So, sometime in the last month, I hit the true one year no contact mark. The last time I heard from the ex affair partner, he called me at work because he had gotten wind of an email announcement my husband and I drafted together last May. It was a message we decided to jointly send to our mutual friends (friends with us and the ex affair partner) to tell them that the affair happened, and ask them to not mention the ex affair partner to us anymore. We also asked them to keep it confidential. Obviously since he called me about it someone told him... not surprising I guess. We all were part of a pretty close-knit group of friends while the affair was going on. It's been five years or more since we have all lived in the same state, but we knew most of our mutual friends still kept in contact with the ex affair partner. So it follows that one of them was still close enough with him to tell him we had sent the message. Anyway. Here's what it felt like to hear his voice on the oth

What I've Learned

The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and