The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and ...
Why are you still married to your husband? They say affairs happen for a reason, and that reason isn't because of the love and quality relationship you have with your husband. You still obviously have strong feelings for someone other than your husband after all this time. I don't get why you stay with him. Just a fallback? A safety net? Also, why didn't you and the AP ever try to start a permanent-type relationship if you felt (and feel) so strongly about him, obviously much stronger than you do your husband?
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