The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and ...
My xmm got married and had a baby too. Yes it hurts. But thats ok right. I figure it will be while longer before it is completely out your system and out of mine. Its nice though not having that i want to die feeling.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's nice not wanting him every single minute of every single day. Why do our brains keep wanting everything though? Knowing we don't REALLY want all those things. I think humans are inherently selfish. I want everyone to only want me. I think that's what it boils down to. Not wanting him. Just not wanting him to want anyone else and have anything else. Bleh.
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