The perspective of over three years is astounding. I had insomnia tonight and slept a grand total of about 20 minutes. In the past sleepless nights came with thoughts of our fantasy life together, or replaying steamy scenes from our sordid past. Tonight, here is what I remembered with stunning clarity: each and every time he let me down, and precisely how. Let's review two bookends that serve as nice highlights, shall we? 1. When talking about my mom that had passed just 6 months after our affair started, I remarked that she had been so young. ExAP's comment? "How old was she?" Me: "64." Him: "That's not THAT young." Thanks asshole. 2. When he started dating the girl he's now married to, it was one week after our last tryst. Just over a month after that began, he brought her to a party at our house. The party was supposed to start at 7. Most people didn't get there until 8pm or later. He and the new GF showed up at 5:00pm. DH and ...
Damn....how did we start this shit? Why did it have to escalate to such MAMMOTH fucking proportions?? Damn...the one other fuck buddy relationship I had, went on for two plus decades. No love...just sex. This one...ohhh smart ass me, just add love to the mix now & won't it be sweet? Oh yeah...didnt count on his falling in stinkin love with Me, or Me, so with him...already HAVE a decent, caring, kind (albeit BORING) husband who would DIE if he knew this. Shit...I'm so fucking depressed.
ReplyDeletewow. exactly.
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